I wonder how many people got married out of unnecessary pressure and psychological trauma from their folks especially their immediate family. I cannot place why à young woman will be made to suffer because she chose to wait and do this at her own time.
Poverty has also not helped matters as if the man is from affluent background and upbringing, you see the family subtle subjugation and mind games they play on the young woman in lieu with all sorts of emotional blackmailing and theatrics.
I recall the experience of my younger sister when a close relation arranged a man to marry her. She was far from happy and being the controversial figure in the family, all I needed to ask her is if she loved him. As soon as wept in my arms, I knew it was my duty to tell that chap to go back home.
I recall another nauseous experience in the past of a “brain dead” aunt of mine trying to link my sister to marry someone she didn’t like, this time there was a lot of persuasion not like the former. She was older this time and I didn’t the need to meddle anymore.
I’m glad she resisted vehemently.
It is not totally lost on us that the reason why some folks bring people to marry your daughter is to have that bragging rights. “It was me who brought Anayo to that family”… “Anayo has money”. Is that enough? Have you asked if Anayo will give that poor girl peace of mind and happiness?
I wonder how many young (women) on this platform especially in Nigeria, who got married because their parents ‘frustrated’ them out of the house “technically and tactically.” -With words and subtle action. Some Nigerian parents are demons sometimes. Most are reading at the moment and acting indifferent. Some parents are complete psychopathic patients.
They constantly keep threatening the peace of their daughters because of marriage. They won’t allow the young woman have a life. Psychologically, they make her begin to think there is a problem with her because she refused to get married within the age bracket they termed as “young” and “productive”
Marriage should not be a venture anyone is forced into for any reason. It should be a willing affair and at one’s best timing. Allow people make this important decisions for themselves because they live with the consequences of their actions forever.
By
Onyeka Chiemelie
AFRICA DAILY NEWS, NEW YORK
